If I Had a Blog

"L"...is for the way you look at me

2012-02-08T22:47:00.000-05:00

Did you know February is the month of lluuuuuv? No, not because of that holiday - which is just perfectly A-OK because we justify making heart-shaped cookies and heart-paper-chains and other things that cheer up this gray month - but because E and I first met in person on Feb. 18. I know, I know...call us sentimentalists...I don't care. It works out well for me because E hates store-created holidays like Valentines Day and Sweetest Day and Mothers Day and...you get the point. But by the time the hype hits it's peak on the 14th, and he sees heart-shaped cookies arrive in the kitchen, it triggers a memory switch in the engineer brain somewhere and he relishes completely ignoring that holiday and remembering our "18th" in some nice way.

Anyway. One of the kids was looking up quotations for an assignment today and I completely rabbit-trailed and found some great ones on husbands. I hate the trend of "jokingly" putting down men/husbands and how they are all made to look like buffoons on television. How, exactly, does being critical encourage them? Yeah, not so much. Let's treat them like we appreciate being treated - with respect always, with praise for all they do, and forgiveness that comes easy.

"Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots."

"No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband and I know he can be trusted."
-- Elsa Einstein

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person"

In which I am currently...

2012-01-26T22:59:00.000-05:00

...loving... the long days at home of winter, where children have time to make best efforts on hard things, instead of rushing through so we can head out the door to the next thing. A couple boys in basketball give me just enough "get out of the house" for a good balance, with still time to catch up on reading and conversations with The Husband.
...reading...a randomly chosen biography at the library, which I grabbed while searching the stacks for the book I had put on hold but the librarians had not had time yet to pull for me. Is that the sign of obsession?
...waiting for... a Big Snow. I do not live in the Midwest for rainy winters, thankyouverymuch. We must go sledding, make snow angels, completely freeze more insects, then start pining for spring.
...excited about...my family coming here this weekend for basketball and visits! Winter time is quality time for farm families.
...missing... our nephew Evan, who is now Nine Months Old (Oh, how sweet the years when I marked time in months!), and doing all sorts of wonderful new things every day. Yay for Oovoo! Boo for hundreds of miles apart.
...trying... to learn a new piano piece instead of replaying my old favorites again, and again, and again.
...working at... breaking the Dt. Mt. Dew addiction. There. I said it. On the Internet. Have not had one in more than 2 weeks, but am more than slightly worried about the amount of calories I am consuming in hot chocolate compensation.
...enjoying... Spotify. A song pops in my head. I type it in search. It plays. The kids and I discuss some history and the music from that time. We search. It plays. Making new playlists is *my* Pinterest.
...snacking on... *nothing. (*See: working at: not eating after supper)
...using... benadryl to try to rid Jesse of mysteriously appearing rash on his stomach, elbows, underarms. Comes and goes. Benadryl not working too well. Suggestions welcome.
...wearing... "pajamas" - old shirt of Eric's and comfy gray pants. Not a lace kind of gal.
... planning...yes. Always.
...singing... "All Creatures of our God and King", off "Downtown Church" - Patty Griffin.
...needing... seriously fitting/arched walking/workout shoes. And 16 things fixed in the house. And 2 sets of braces for kids. But really? Nothing.
...learning... the very, very fine line between demanding excellence and inducing exasperation.
...listening to...my squeaky dryer, my sleeping husband. Thankful for both.
...wishing... that is wasn't only hindsight that is 20/20. I could really use some corrective lenses for foresight, Lord.
...praying for...obedience. That I would listen, and obey, and NOT try to control results. Praying for opened eyes and changed hearts.
...dreaming of... a place that would a safe place for broken, hurting people; that would be a place where light and hope were found; an adventure in reaching beyond comfortable and safe.

(...stealing from...fuzzy hair)

It's the little (big) things

2012-01-23T22:31:00.000-05:00

This boring old dreary-rainy Monday morning, I grabbed my son's hand to warm up my hands (I regularly use them for supplemental heat), and I noticed it felt a little different.

So, we took a moment to do something that is not-so-unusual around here: we measured hands.

He did a double-take. I froze. It has happened. I have a child whose hand is as big as mine.

I do not have small hands.

His basketball coach is very happy with his hands; his piano teacher is so excited she stumbles over her words. His mother?

*sniff*

A warm January birthday

2012-01-11T08:47:00.000-05:00

"We NEVER have a day where we can go outside and play in the sunshine with no coats on our birthday!"

The 9 year old menu:
Breakfast: They chose to pick out a "anything we want" box of cereal - each. Reese's Puff and Cookie Crisps were the start to the day.
Lunch: Sandwich "buffet", as they like to call it, with their chosen chips.
Supper: Steak and chicken fajitas/tacos, with black beans and onions and peppers and lettuce/sour cream/tomatoes/sauces, chips and salsa, yummy sweet corn from summer
Chocolate cake, with mint and strawberry ice creams

Words that describe Jesse right now: strong, compassionate, thoughtful, so observant, guileless, funny
Words that describe Sara right now: determined, insightful, organized, responsible, loving, independent, certain

In which the kids discuss politics

2012-01-08T08:48:00.000-05:00

Eric took the kids out for cheap breakfast sandwiches yesterday morning, with the guideline that if they didn't want a sandwich they had to keep their order under $2.

He took them inside to order - to avoid the never-ends-well drive-thru panic ordering - and found that Levi had brought some extra money of his own to buy a second sandwich, which Eric let him do.

On the way home, the kids remembered that they hadn't ordered anything for me (I had told E ahead of time that I didn't want anything). Before Eric could explain, Delaney said to Levi: "Well, you can just give Mom your extra sandwich since you have two."

Levi's reply: "You're just like Obama - you want to take from the rich and give to the poor!"

If I Made a List: Best Movies from 2011

2012-01-04T22:50:00.000-05:00

Let's be upfront here: I am no movie aficionado nor critic. I enjoy them, so this is all based on 1) their redeeming value; 2) level of enjoyment they brought. These are movies I watched in 2011, not necessarily that came out last year.

In no particular order:

1) Temple Grandin. I love based-on-true-story movies, and Claire Danes did an amazing job portraying Grandin in this. Amazing. I actually interviewed Grandin for an article once, back in the years when I had an income, so that plus the whole subject matter was a bonus.

2) The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry. We tend to be skeptical of low-budget "Christian" films, so I had my doubts, but this movie totally won me over. Well done, well acted - especially by the kids. Great movie.

3) Get Low. This was one of those movies that stays with you for days afterward. The kind you absorb, and made me want to actually look at the special features on the DVD. The acting is superb, with Robert Duvall. It is not an action movie. It's slow and simmering and makes you think about your choices in life.

4) The Help. Could be my favorite of the year. Does a great job of capturing the time period and the attitudes and the seemingly impossible obstacles to moving out of "the way things are".

5) Rango. Usually, you can hear me groan when Eric says he's gotten an animated movie for movie night. Really good ones are few and far between. This one is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s. Loved it. Ranks close to Hoodwinked, which is our all-time favorite animated.

6) The Conspirator. Did I mention yet that I also favor based-on-true-story period pieces? This Civil War drama has great acting and lots of good detail. This one will be great for the kids to watch in a few years (heavy subjects and some gore).

There were some other good ones (Secretariat, 127 Hours) but these are really just the ones I can say I'm glad we took time to watch.

Your favorites from the year??

So I Can Remember

2012-01-02T10:00:00.002-05:00

"The worst way out of apathy is by dodging problems, avoiding the clashing of personalities, and getting around persecution. May the Spirit prepare us in this new year for the daily grind, and may He fire us with unusual strength for the special task of confronting our national and personal idols."

- Dave Black

Scenes from the Season

2011-12-27T23:56:00.000-05:00

Jesse, holding up his can of pop to my brother at the Christmas party: "Now, this right here really means it's Christmas"

Leah, watching It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World for the first time: "They would've gotten there first if they'd just drove normally!"

Jesse - clearly his father's son - after walking in the house after the final travel of the final Christmas party: "VACATION!"

Delaney, filling her plate with the cut-up veggies I'd set out when we got home today: "I'm not eating another piece of candy or anything with sugar for a week. Maybe 3 months. Maybe till my birthday."

If I Made a List: Christmas Music

2011-12-20T10:38:00.001-05:00

[I am the one for whom the media makes end-of-year or Best-of-year lists, ok? Just in case you were wondering. I love them. They fill up my wish lists and library cards with new books to read and music to find and recipes to try and ideas to test. So this year I'm going to try and contribute instead of just consuming.]

Top 5 Christmas Albums

Notes:
- I can't bring myself to rank them, so "no particular order".
- I don't like all the songs on all the albums, but there is no way I could do "top 5 Christmas songs", so just consider this imperfect. Favorite Songs have an *.
- I could go on with disclaimers all day long; you know that, right? : )

#5. Amy Grant: A Christmas Album
One of the first cassette tapes I owned myself. Best played while cooking or decorating. Top songs: A Christmas Hymn*, Hark! The Herald Angels, A Mighty Fortress, Praise the King.

#4. Barlow Girl: Home for Christmas
Close to my favorite. Crisp, clear harmonies that ring out through the speakers. Best way to start the Christmas music season, or to wake up the kids early in the morning. Top songs: Go Tell it on the Mountain, Carol of the Bells, O Come O Come Emmanuel, and Hallelujah (Light Has Come)*.

#3. Transiberian Orchestra: The Lost Christmas Eve
By October we are all itching to play it. We hold off until after Eric's birthday and this is one of the few Christmas albums he can take the whole season. We pick and choose among all their Christmas albums, but this is the one we discovered first. Top songs: Wizards in Winter, Anno Domine, Wish Liszt, Christmas Canon Rock*.

#2. Harry Connick, Jr.: When my Heart Finds Christmas
Ahhhh, Harry. Smooth. Best played while working on computer or doing schoolwork or having a party or driving around looking at Christmas lights. Top songs: I Pray on Christmas*, Parade of the Wooden Soldiers, The Little Drummer Boy.

#1. Anne Murray: What a Wonderful Christmas
Purely nostalgia. I can hear it playing on the record player while we decorated the tree growing up. Who can do The Coventry Carol like Anne? Or It Came Upon a Midnight Clear? Beautiful voice. Other top songs: Silver Bells, O Come All ye Faithful.

Honorable Mentions:
Any of Michael W. Smith's Christmas albums
The Chieftains: Bells of Dublin (LOVE. Could've been on top list. I Saw Three Ships, The Rebel Jesus)
Randy Travis: An Old Time Christmas (*God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)
Vince Gill: Let There Be Peace on Earth*
Martina McBride: White Christmas (Best version of O Holy Night*)
Sara Groves: O Holy Night (Cradle in Bethlehem*, Toy Packaging)
Toby Mac: Christmas in Diverse City (new, but quickly becoming a favorite; love Mary's Boy Child)
Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb

I leave you with our favorite original Christmas song performance of this year. This young Christian was inspired by this song and bringing what we have been given and laying it all out for Jesus. He played all the instruments in this arrangement and produced the video with help from his sister. He has totally inspired us here.

Because an engineer is really just a glorified mechanic

2011-12-08T22:56:00.001-05:00

Eric (driving us all home from an event): ...and he was telling me what he does, and I was struck later by how many in our group are professionals in their careers.

Me: Yeah, you're right. I never noticed.

Levi: Yeah, except for our family.

No "what if"s, No "if only"s

2011-12-04T22:20:00.001-05:00

"Wherever you are, be all there."

- Jim Elliot

What I really want to eat this week

2011-11-22T08:57:00.001-05:00

I will miss making all of my husband's family's favorites...whipped sweet potatoes, broccoli casserole, the "dressing", the green beans, the endless lines of pies, the apple stack cake

But we will eat together, and I will not miss the stories, the games, the time.

I will miss my grandma. My first Thanksgiving without a living grandparent. Their traditions, their steadfastness, their ever-present love.

But we will make her noodles, and pile them on mashed potatoes, and make a ham instead of a turkey, and remember her in each bite.

I will miss my "boy"...his willingness to hold my hand in public - or any motherly PDA; his boyish features; my slight advantage in strength....all have been fading, and with this, the 12th birthday, are disappearing.

But we will eat his All Boy birthday menu on his Thanksgiving Day Birthday (who else gets to eat corn dogs on Thanksgiving Day? Anyone? Anyone?) and sing to him and be so thankful for the boy he is and the man he is becoming.

I will miss the "way things were" - I've always been bad at change - but I will embrace the "way things are" and remember the One Who Always Is - He is my Rock.

And I will eat...

"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live."

The urge to scream is strong in you, I see*

2011-11-16T23:36:00.001-05:00

I can take it from here/
And have no where to go.**

I can take it for years/
And have nothing to show.

I'll wait for you/
Now more than ever.

I see it's true/
Now more than ever.

I'll wait for you, now.

Sara Groves, Invisible Empires

*How big would the font have to be (and soooo big to hold all the irony) to make "WAKE UP PEOPLE!" actually cause some to just. stop. the. madness? Why do we insist on storing up "treasures" that will rust and rot and that have no value in what really matters?

** "....not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord." Zec. 4:6

A "Real" Man

2011-11-10T09:46:00.000-05:00

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn to humbly obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”

Sometimes I marvel because of how different your life must look than how you imagined it. Ohio? Five children? No 4-wheeler? Really? But then I think of how your life is just like you imagined it: Ohiofivechildrenno4wheeler so inconsequential...faithfulness to God in whatever circumstances.
You are a real man.

Sometimes I can't stand you. I take all of my exhaustion and undone dishes and undone repairs and undone goals and undone responsibilities and I pile them up on the easily accessible corner of my distorted mind called Your Fault. You did not sign up for this. You do not fight back. You do not blame back. You don't do the same thing to me because you know I would crumble under the accusation because my patience-meter is always hanging by a measly thread. You wait. You hold no grudges when I regain my senses.
You are a real man.

Sometimes you mess up. Or get lazy. Or ignore consequences we agreed upon for the kids. Or let depressing thoughts control your actions. You are not perfect.
You are a real man.

Sometimes (All The Time?!?) you are faced with career detours. Oh, that long-lived goal of being an engineer has been fulfilled - probably, in reality, when you were born. But life and poor decisions and good decisions and opportunities seem to arrive like a weekly package. I love your dreams. I love your ideas. Don't stop.
You are a real man.

Sometimes friends, family, strangers, restaurant patrons compliment our well-behaved children. How wonderful and sweet and quiet and mature. They assume - oh the irony! - they assume because I'm home with them that it's because of me. I, the Lord, my family, and you, know the truth. You defy every misguided stereotype this world places on a father. You are so strong, and so gentle. You discipline with the long view. You have always seen them as the people they are becoming. They know, deep in their hearts, that you enjoy being with them and always will.
You are a real man.

And I pray that your 41st year is real and good and blessed in a way that only the Lord can do. I love you.

Another reason why I wish I drank coffee

2011-11-01T22:30:00.000-04:00

Scene: our living room, 7:09 a.m., everyone curled up in a chair or couch as we start our day

Me: So, in John this morning...."He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.”

Leah: Mom. I have an interesting question.

Me: (smiling) Lay it on me.

Leah: So, how do you know if you actually love Jesus?

(Maybe we should move Bible lessons to a different part of the day...!!)

Balancing October

2011-10-18T12:52:00.000-04:00

In my former life: whether to go start tailgating in the morning on Saturdays, or closer to game time
In my current life: whether to stay up later and read OSU game recaps online, or just get to bed

Former: whether or not to play Christmas music or wait until Nov. (ok, that's still a debate)
Current: keeping track of what month I'm in

Former: whether it was worth it to pack up 4 babies/toddlers and all their stuff to go try to keep them on a blanket for an hour while the 4-year-old played soccer.
Current: whether I can ever get to the place again where I can sit with 4 of my kids and watch 1 play.

A little (much needed) inspiration

2011-10-06T22:07:00.001-04:00

^{Proverbs 31:10} An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
¹³ She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
¹⁴ She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
¹⁸ She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
²⁰ She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
²⁶ She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
²⁹ “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

In the Midst of it All

2011-08-28T12:49:00.002-04:00

He fixes the mower, which I left sitting in the yard where it quit.

He coaches the team.

He reads and laughs at and share with me something funny I found.

He fixes the dryer.

He packs the coolers, and chairs, and everything else.

He leads us through John.

He makes Big Breakfasts.

He trims, and clips, and fixes the shutter.

He takes them creeking.

Oh yeah - he works full-time and extra time and provides for our family so I can homeschool.

I. am. so. blessed.

Don't let...

2011-08-13T21:21:00.003-04:00

...the busyness overshadow the small stuff

[6yo's who light up at being the "shark"; excitement over new uniform colors; sunsets that overwhelm the world with the reality of Him]

...my detailed self make mountains out of molehills

[really? I have to get that paper over to that place right this instant? will school planning get done by worrying about when I will get it done?]

...my kids miss the people, the purpose

[my attitude is reflected in them; do they see stress or joy? do they understand why we are putting others before ourselves?]

...me forget:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

And another hits double digits...Crazy!

2011-07-26T22:09:00.003-04:00

Absolute favorite pic of her! Happy birthday Lady Kay!

Living Well: the in-between

2011-07-06T22:38:00.000-04:00

Observations on a phenomenon:

Your family? Easy. You love 'em. You take care of one another, listen, get mad, forgive, eat, dream together.

Strangers who catch your attention? Clearly, Americans and the western developed world find them easy to give time and attention to - actors, celebrities, those whose mistakes and crimes attract our curiosity, those who write interesting things. Newscasters and pundits whose entire livlihoods are wrapped up in making sure we know what complete strangers are doing and saying each day.

Those in between the 2 groups? Not much time and attention left to spread around, is there? Strange, then, that that is exactly to whom Jesus called us. To our neighbors. Those in our town who are hurting. The lonely. The elderly. Those who would disciple us and love us right out of our comfort zones.

Living Well: The Lists

2011-06-23T22:18:00.002-04:00

I was determined this year to do better at doing the "next thing" instead of stressing about the "next thing".

On a good note, I am doing better at this. On a bad note, I'm getting a little wrapped up in my to-do list.

(Note: if you did not know previously how I can be a little *obsessive* about lists, you should probably stop here and keep your well-polished image of me intact.)

Instead of putting "Call ____" on my list, and then spending a night or two wondering how they will respond, or what to do if they don't respond, or whatever, now I just call them. Immediately. Done. Move on. That's working well.

However, since I'm becoming my mother and all, I know that I'm more prone to forgetting something, and because I don't want to lie awake all night wondering what I've forgotten (my ONLY cause of insomnia), I've been writing everything - even things I just might WANT to do - on my to-do list. This is creating problems, because my to-do list? It gets done. And I mean, done. I really can't stand to have a lingering, been-on-there-forever to-do list item. So, even when I have gotten a LOT done, I feel the pull...what's next? What else can I cross off?

So what does all this have to do with my musings this year about living well? Well, my children, my husband, my relationships? They can't go on my list. They don't get crossed off. But too many times, too many days, I'm getting all wrapped up and in love with and - yes - consumed with my get-'er-done list. Sometimes I think: "put 'do _ with kid' on the list!" And then I think: "that's terrible. That is NOT living well".

I have no answers right now. E has always been the one who can pull me away from my lists...maybe I should ask him.

The Art of Getting Things Done

2011-06-14T15:43:00.005-04:00

If I hadn't flown to Texas to see my new nephew, I might not have realized how easy making breakfast burritoes in bulk could be.

If I were my sister, I would've done this for my husband a long time ago. If I were Lisa or Pam, I'd have headed to my backyard farm for these 36 eggs, instead of the $1.59 per 18 deal I got at Kroger.

If it weren't for my mom, I wouldn't have had this handy-dandy tool for chopping up the sausage and eggs into perfect form. Oh, modern convienences.

If I hadn't married a southerner (by heritage) with a penchant for protein for breakfast, there would probably be nothing more than Cheerios on this bar.

If I were in control of my life, I might not have these three beautiful daughters (assembly-line workers today!) to make the process go quickly and easily. I thank God for all my children!!
If I were my husband, I'd be up early and hard at work each day designing machines and solving problems, providing for our family. The least I can do is give him some breakfast!

I'll Give You Organic

2011-06-02T22:46:00.004-04:00

Conviction+
Opportunity+
Obedience+
Faith+
Blessing+
Friendship+
Generosity+
Open Doors+
Commitment+
Purging+
Sharing+
Witness+
Work+
Relationship
= BARN SALE

All glory to the One, True, Living, Eternal God.

When the Plan Comes Together

2011-05-22T11:05:00.003-04:00

So, you know what it's like when you have spent years teaching the letters and their sounds, and reading to the child, and putting words together, and slowly they start to read, and sound their words out, and you have to set times for them to practice reading each day? And then one day it's really quiet, and you check on them, and they're engrossed in a chapter book that you didn't even suggest and it makes you want to cry?

Well, the construction equivalent just happened. Counting, measuring, math, power tool instruction, years of patience with "helpers", and more have just come together. Daddy's tearing up. : )

Event of the Year

2011-05-17T16:37:00.004-04:00

So as soon as my sister told me last year the big news, we knew 2011 would be "The Year of the New Cousin". When I announced that I was going to fly down when the baby was born and take Delaney, all manner of excitement and anticipation and who-will-have-the-better-time discussions ensued.

And now the baby - henceforth known as Evan! - is here. And the trip is done. And the other kids' week with Daddy is done. And we're back to the routine (except for the yearly excitement of getting the Barn Sale ready, which has not quite kicked in because it keeps raining). For DK and I, it was such a great trip to bond more closely as she heads into a different phase of growing up. The fun of experiencing her first airplane ride with her was a privilege (Said as she put her shoes back on after getting her bag scanned and the body scan: "I was all like, 'tight', and now I'm just like, ahhhh, and let's get on the plane!"). She absolutely loved every minute of the plane ride, and had her face smashed against her window during the entire take-off. Priceless.

And Evan! He was 2 weeks old when we arrived, and completely perfect and adorable. He has beautiful eyes and we got to see them quite often. Delaney did great holding him and became more comfortable as the week went on. She liked to ride in the back seat with him, keep his pacifier handy, and give a running commentary on his faces and wild arm swings (future OSU quarterback?). John and Karyn are doing a great job as new parents and I know they'll face the long haul with wisdom, prayers and lots of love. Other things DK liked: sleeping with mom (me) in a big ol' bed; hot cocoa and danishes every morning at the motel (so like her father: she made me buy sausages that we could microwave in our room because it was only a continental breakfast); shopping!!! at Ft. Worth mall and other stores with actual selection; eating at Delaney's Irish Pub where her not-so-common-and-never-found-on-gift-shop-trinkets name was plastered everywhere; the beautiful botanical gardens; really good Texas burgers with really good Texas beef.

We road-tripped home through Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois and Indiana with grandma, where snacks and other food was so available she declared she would never eat again until her birthday. After arriving home Sunday afternoon and settling in a bit, she had quite a few tears and lots of sadness. For Texas, for Evan, and probably for the "let-down" from the end of a big, once-in-a-childhood special trip with mom that had been building up in her mind since December when I told her. New emotions, new experiences; our biggest little girl is growing up.

I Could Get Used to This

2011-05-08T10:47:00.002-04:00

So far today...

...tons of hugs and kisses...

...they made my bed...

..."Interviews About Mom" videos with each kid answering questions and sending messages to me. Best. Gift. Ever....

...Originial songs written and sung for me...

Here's one of the interviews. You can see in the clothing question that I have passed down the sarcasm gene completely intact.
http://www1.snapfish.com/snapfish/slideshow/AlbumID=4191389015/PictureID=196880957015/a=4932649_4932649/

Some homework...or Heather-work

2011-05-04T22:07:00.005-04:00

So a good friend and I snuck out and had a great evening recently discussing life, kids and breakfast, schedules, books, music, Africa, and a multitude of other deep-to-shallow topics that only 2 mothers of 9 children could squeeze into 4 hours. A phrase that rose to the surface throughout the evening: "living well". She and I are going to continue the discussion - what does it mean to live well? As a Christian? As a mother and wife? As me?

I thought I might start to flesh some of that out here...feel free to add on, weigh in, disagree, etc. Brainstorming is on the agenda first, as all good students know, and since there is not much in my brain, I'll stimulate my thinking by seeing what others have to say.*

"There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living, and the other how to live." - John Adams

"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it." - Erma Bombeck

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Come now, you who say, today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit. Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.'" - James 4: 13-15

*Fine print disclaimer: just words that make me think...not necessarily an endorsement of the sentiment.

Welcome to Our World

2011-04-28T08:28:00.003-04:00

Leah's not the youngest cousin anymore...

The kids want to oovoo (video chat) with him asap...

"I wonder what his first word will be?" they ask. "I wonder what he'll look like when he's seven."....

"Has he worn any of the shirts we made him yet?"...

I think they love him already...I know we do! Welcome to the family, Evan Riley!!!

April 26, 2011

One Body

2011-04-24T22:17:00.003-04:00

We sat on metal, plastic, canvas, wood -- whatever could be gathered in close quarters before dawn this morning. The 40 or so of us - from new babies to great-grandparents - were surrounded by flats of flowers and rows of hanging baskets, their colors barely visible in the dark.

We started to sing. Then the roosters started to sing, and before our eyes the greenhouse lit up like someone had flipped the switch. We kept singing, about the One who flipped the switch, who rolled away the stone, who lives today and forever. We talked about how the darkness has not won, and will never win.

On the other side of the world, though, our brothers and sisters did not get to leave their gathering and go eat ham or baked beans or cake or relax with their families. They tried to gather and sing, and pray, and talk about the One whom we celebrate this day; they were arrested. Some are in various jails, others are in unknown locations.

I do not take for granted my freedom to gather and proclaim the name of Jesus Christ, and I will not forget those who are without that freedom.

Wrapping Up, Heading Home

2011-04-17T07:25:00.007-04:00

Our last full day of the retreat was a day of no plans. We slept in, I tackled most of the laundry (again), and started the packing process. We continued to watch basketball (did I mention that having 4 televisions with cable helped tremendously with a fun opening weekend for the NCAA tournament? It would have been a real bummer at home since they took so many games off of CBS and we don't have cable!). We also took a drive and made some time to see the "glass house" - highly recommended by the MOMYS family from Iowa that we had gotten to know a little during the week. The glass house is near Historic Jamestowne and is a replica of a glass-making set up that was found there. Two men were stoking the kiln (fire?) and working with the glass. They would take what looked like a little "ball" of hot glass out of the fire, and blow, roll, contort it into large vases, pitchers and more. Truly amazing, and truly hot. I can't imagine what it is like for them in the heat of summer.

Side note: Eric and I got a date-night Saturday! We ate at Panera - yummmmmmm. We had both eaten there separately but never had a chance to together. Once again, highly recommend taking grandparents on a vacation!

Sunday morning was stuffing everything into the vans and trying to get on the road as early as possible. I got up early to cook the cinnamon rolls that I had bought but never used during the week, thinking that would be a nice way to ease the "we're leaving" morning blues. However, the best-laid plans...etc. I put the rolls into two pans that were in the townhouse kitchen. Timer beeped, I got them out, set them on the stove-top, turned around to look for a knife to spread the icing on, PAN EXPLODED. Yeah, not cool. Glass everywhere. Thankfully, the kids were not awake yet and I didn't get cut or anything. Eric and I cleaned it all up, dumped the rolls in the trash and he went and got donuts. : )

We had a pretty nice ride home -- the kids did absolutely GREAT the whole trip in the van, barely any arguing and "are we there yet"s. The two negatives were detouring to Monticello for a "drive-by" and realizing that you couldn't see it from your car and it cost an arm and a leg to see it, and my incident at a gas station in SE Ohio where the van-lock alarm went off and Eric was in the bathroom and I could NOT get that thing to go off no matter what we tried. : ) Those are the memory makers, though!

We did stop at a great attraction in WV, and got a good workout climbing down quite a few stairs to see the old and new bridges. The kids didn't think it would be anything to climb back up, (even after reading the warning signs), but we were all quite winded.

We got home at around 9:30 p.m. or so, ready to be home but sad to be ending our adventures. Many, many request of "Can we go back next year?" I'm sure we would enjoy it, but if I know us, I think we will have to strike out somewhere we've never been.

The Beach-Ball Day

2011-04-11T21:49:00.005-04:00

Eric had looked ahead at the weather forecast and thought Friday would be our best Atlantic Ocean day. He was right! We all headed to Virginia Beach, parked right by the boardwalk, had the beach practically to ourselves for most of the time we were there, and had beautiful sunny 80+ degree weather. It was exactly what we all needed.

Long walks on the beach...they're such romantics...

Always the engineer...even made his own beach chair...

Their first time at the Atlantic Ocean...

Someone had to be buried!

After the sun had started turning our skin pretty red, and the sand had made it's way into every thing we brought, we headed back to the resort (again, through crazy-slow Virginia Beach/Norfolk/Newport News traffic) to shower and get ready for The King's Ball. All the families were dressing up (either in period garb or just nice clothing) and putting our newly-learned colonial dance skills to use. Sara was nervous from Monday until Friday at the ball, worried, she told us, that she might forget some of the moves for the dances, or not remember their names and that she knew them. She really, really, liked the dancing. : ) Levi asked me to dance - so sweet! - and Delaney, yet again, rejected invitations from young men to dance with her. She is going to be a tough one for some young man someday.

We weren't too great with our cameras Friday night, but I have a few pics, plus the "big reveal" - pics from Monday night including the parents' and grandparents' outfits!

Separate But Equally Fun

2011-04-05T22:01:00.006-04:00

Thankfully, we had front-loaded most of the planned stops/activities into the first part of the trip, and left free time at the end. This worked well (I think) because given our usual propensity not to be "boxed in" on any vacation, we were pretty worn out from scheduled activities by the end of our day at Colonial Williamsburg. We had a few things that we knew we wanted to fit in, but because we only had 3 days left, it was looking a little crowded and that was causing a little, ahem, tension. We made a good decision: we went our separate ways for most of Thursday and everyone had more time to relax. Mom and I and Delaney and Sara rolled down the windows and enjoyed the beautiful, sunny 70-degree day by hitting the many outlet malls and Yankee Candle Flagship store. The Yankee store was really entertainment in a very, very large store, and the girls got to make their own candle, eat some chocolate-covered popcorn, watch the "snow" come down in the year-round Christmas section, and peruse the toy shop while I picked out some great new votive candle scents (lemonade! yum!). Alas, I have no pictures of shopping. : )

Dad, Eric, Leah, Jesse and Levi headed south to Norfolk, the Nauticus Museum, and the Wisconsin Battleship tour. Other than the traffic on the way back, they had a great day and said the museum was really hands-on and worth the trip. Eric remembers his dad taking him on a real battleship when he was a young boy and had been looking forward to doing the same with his kids for a long time.

Colonial Williamsburg

2011-04-01T19:59:00.004-04:00

Wagon Trails....Or "How to Make History Real for Your Children"

2011-03-29T22:05:00.005-04:00

When I was in high school, my parents took us on a trip out west. My mother, the schoolteacher (also just a generally interested-in-history-person), kept throwing in "extras" along the way. Like, museums. One late afternoon, on which I remember being particularly anxious to move along and get to the hotel (pool), we made a "detour" and drove to the site marking the start (portion?) of a famous wagon trail, where many pioneer families made the journey west. Quite literally, there was a small area in which to park, and then you got out and looked at a large grassy plain, and then you walked to the spot where you could see some ruts in the ground, and a sign. Now, my mother will stop the story at the point and tell you that - ahem - it is worth noting that I remember the wagon trail. This is true. It is also true that experiences such as those has made me somewhat conscientious of how we present "history" to our children, and made it very interesting to see how they did on what was really our first history-type trip. On Tuesday of the trip we went with some others from the MOMYS group and got a tour of the Jamestown Settlement - the reenacted Jamestown site that is more kid-friendly than the actual historical Jamestowne. Levi hung in and seemed to retain quite a bit from our private tour guide, but the others faded quickly as it involved standing for long periods in the wind, just listening. They were also distracted a bit because they could see the Indian homes and the large ships and the fort, but we weren't going in them yet! They did really enjoy it all once we started exploring and it was great to see them connect what they were seeing to some of the things we had learned.

Jesse, grinding corn the old way.

One of the replica ships - the Susan Constant (note: random girl walked into picture beside Eric at the last second!)

Tuesday's hands-on history wasn't done, however, as the retreat organizers had planned a girls/mothers tea and a militia drill for the boys/dads in the afternoon back at the resort. Our outside picnic/tea was cold but absolutely beautiful in its set-up and planning. Each lady got a custom-made mug with raspberry lemonade plus wonderful "crumpets" in a basket.

The boys had their replica muskets and LOVED the drill instruction time. We had quite the time the rest of the trip getting them to stop "drilling" and remember that the dear people of Virginia Beach/Norfolk/West Virginia/Ohio did not know they were pretending to be minutemen.

Monday, Monday

2011-03-26T23:40:00.004-04:00

So, because we attempt this whole literature-based, Charlotte Mason-influenced, global curriculum around here, the kiddos never get the pleasure of pop quizzes, except when they are in the van with their father, or when my dad checks to see if they are actually learning math. Therefore, to satisfy my deeply-ingrained love of multiple choice questions, and to cover more ground, I'm blog-quizzing.

1. Did you survive dressing up in your colonial outfits and meeting the other families?

a. No, we took one look at ourselves and fled.
b. Yes, our outfits were 100% authentic and everyone complemented my exceptional sewing skills.

c. No, the kids were desperate to put their regular clothes back on and flee far from the dancing.

d. Yes, everyone was so welcoming and we were pleasantly surprised at what a fun evening we had.

Answer: d. The kids looked great. We adults? Well, we tried! I will hold off on the "big reveal" of all pics of our colonial wear until the end of these posts, but will give a few glimpses now. Some of the families were completely authentic and that was neat to see, and some didn't dress up and that was great, too. The best thing was that it was all good and everyone had so much fun as one of the dads, who is a well-versed dance caller, taught us all many customs of the dancing and many dances. All ages were on the dance floor and it was a blast. Eric, who looked quite comfortable in his chair against the wall, did not disappoint his three daughters, and was a willing dance partner for each of them. The real joy was watching the twins, who took to colonial dancing like nothing you've ever seen. When Jesse was completely lost, Sara would just grab his hand and drag him through it all. But he caught on, and when the rest of us were too tired to keep learning, they would just grab each other's hands and head back out for the next one.

2. What desserts did Brenda and Heather pick at The Trellis, a wonderful restaurant in historic Williamsburg?

a. White Chocolate Truffles

b. Dark Chocolate Tart with sea salt and pecans

c. Turtle Pudding with Toffee Cream topping

d. Seven-layer Death by Chocolate

Answer: b (Mom) and d (me). I was headed for the dark chocolate but the waiter talked many of us at the table (all the moms' went out for an evening dessert after the larger get together and we got to know some wonderful ladies) into their award-winning death by chocolate. It was huge, it was decadent, very glad I got it.

3. What's the strangest difference between the Williamsburg, VA walmart and the Richmond, IN walmart?

a. A much bigger store

b. You couldn't find it from the road - like everything else in this very-zoned city

c. Nearly all the "junk" food was compartmentalized into its own area between the grocery and clothing sections.

d. The bread section.

Answer: d. I know, I know, analysis on Wal-mart differences is totally not pertinent to our trip and anything historic. But I have never seen a bread section with so little wheat bread. And I have not seen that much white bread since the 1980s. Seriously, people, the bread was IN the junk food section with the chips and candy.

As promised, a few pics from the Monday get-together:

The Retreat

2011-03-24T12:02:00.004-04:00

Would you like to hear about how we were all pretty worn down by now from the drives, living out of the clothing tub, and managing the pig-sty level in the van? No? How about how, by the time we were headed to our resort on the 1st Sunday of our trip, I was about to throw up if I had to bend down one more time and scour my bag (or under the van seats) for the right map or more gum or a pencil, and Eric was probably ready to throw me and the GPS out the window? Yes?

Well, too bad, because we're going to do positive highlights and happy pictures.

This Williamsburg retreat has been going on for about 10 years through an email group of which I am a member: MOMYS - Mothers of Many Young Siblings. You have to have at least 4 children within 8 years to be a member; we are one of the smaller families, and in fact, had one of the few minivans in the parking lots. Most were 12- or 15-passenger. My mom and dad joined us on the road when we were heading to Williamsburg, and the kids happily separated into 2 vans. : )

We checked in that evening at the Historic Powhatan Resort between Williamsburg and Jamestown, and we have to say that the accomodations were great. Spring was springing, and we all spread out into the 4-bedroom, 4-bath townhome, and then explored the grounds a bit. It had indoor pools, game rooms, tennis, a historic manor, a general store and many ponds in which to fish (I think Levi caught a stick). Some of the week's planned activities (militia drill, tea party, dad's breakfast, etc.) were on site, and others (tours, mom's dessert, etc.) were in historic Williamsburg or surrounding areas. One of the great parts of the week was meeting the families in the buildings beside us (all MOMYS families had their names on their doors) and watching as the kids took over the parking lots/grassy areas through the week and played together.

We didn't remember to take a lot of pics at the resort, but you can get some idea of what it looked like.

While waiting for check-in time, we took the Colonial Parkway and hit the "beach" on the James River. Similarly, we found no gold.

We did find rocks.

On our "street" at the resort, our first day there.

Washington D.C. Meets the Nortons

2011-03-22T22:01:00.005-04:00

So, the whole trip was really set for this year because the kids and I have spent the year studying history between the explorers and the early 1800s. Before the trip, we had just finished up the Revolutionary War and the creation of the Constitution. AND, the selection of a large tract of land from both Maryland and Virginia to be the home of the nation's capitol; you know, a spot in the "middle" of the country. Such foresight. ; )

So, considering we took one day and saw the Smithsonian American History museum, Union Station, the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Senate and Supreme Court buildings, and the Botanical Gardens, what do you think the kids' favorite memory of D.C. is? Only if you guessed the mode of transporation that took us to all of those places (or if I've talked to you) would you have the correct answer! Yes, they love the Metro. Seven one-day passes to ride the subway was money well spent, let me tell 'ya. The rest was just icing on the cake for them.

The excitement of the day produced well-seasoned Metro riders.

What are we most interested in at the Smithsonian? Hmmm... I blame Eric.

We really, really want this Liberty Bell replica to ring.

No taxation without representation!

The irresistible urge to touch the cactus was only magnified when the mother said, "No, for goodness sake! Don't touch the cactus." The Botanical Gardens was an unplanned (Dad, looking for a shortcut) but very lovely stop.

Home Again, Home Again, Fiddle-Dee-Dee

2011-03-21T23:25:00.004-04:00

I'm sure it's obvious to my huge reader base by now that blogging the vacation didn't go so well! Once I couldn't get pictures to post on here through Eric's phone, and once the wi-fi service at the resort was spotty at best, and...anyway, you get the point.

I am going to try to get a few stories/pics on here for posterity. A lot of our pictures ended up being on my mom's camera and Eric's phone, and I don't have all those on my computer yet, so I'll get that organized first and then tell the vacation in order. The pics I do have ready are of the wonderful friends we stayed with along the first few days of our trip. Thanks again, Carters and Cassadys!

Leaving our house on 1st day...ready to ride!

"NLC" back together...music could happen at any moment.

Everything we need to know we learned in 3rd grade.

all i have to say right now

2011-03-13T23:52:00.002-04:00

70 degrees and sunny today!

trains, trains and automobiles

2011-03-12T22:02:00.001-05:00

Whew! We've had a great but busy couple days. The best part has been enjoying the amazing hospitality of friends on our journey. Thank you to those who opened their homes and took in this vagabond 7.

Today, our nation's capital! It was great to see it all through their eyes as they matched up what they had read with what they were seeing. But, as we figured, their biggest excitement was riding the metro and mastering the stations. It was a great way to see the city.

Now, to sleep. In. And in. Will attempt pics from e's phone.

road trip!

2011-03-11T11:21:00.002-05:00

Awesome time with dear friends last night to start the trip.

Just paid $3.65 for gas.

Snowy mountains of west Virginia. Beautiful!

A Packing Haiku

2011-03-09T23:37:00.002-05:00

Take this, don't take that
Frustrating. Scream-inducing.
Honda minivan

My Sweet Seven-Year-Old

2011-03-03T21:30:00.004-05:00

There is not a cliche available that I would not be willing to use tonight to describe how strange it is that my youngest child is 7. We so love our humming, cuddly, cat-carrying, twig-thin, not-a-morning-girl, hugging, doesn't-know-a-stranger Leah. Happy Birthday, girl!

February Hike

2011-02-28T22:38:00.002-05:00

What a beautiful cold day. Hints of spring in the air...whispers of green starting to grow.

The Importance of Growing Up

2011-02-27T09:25:00.004-05:00

There's been much discussion this week around here about gray hair; specifically, mine. While we were talking to some friends at the nursing home, we mentioned Leah's upcoming birthday and how "old" I felt that my baby was going to be 7. Delaney piped right up, "Yeah, mom has gray hair! She colors her hair!" - loud enough that the entire hall could hear. Children are the Lord's way of uncovering your last lingering shreds of vanity, I do believe.

Later in the week, the topic came up again. Delaney said I looked young (I think it was when I was dressed to go to the Y with them?) and that I should keep coloring my hair. I said that I would stop sometime -- I hadn't really decided when -- and that all the gray would be there in its full glory. D is now on a mission to decide what the exact right year is that I should begin to look like an "old woman".

I don't really know when I'll let it go; honestly, I don't care much. As my good friend Dellie once taught me: "it's just hair." What I do want is the maturity, the wisdom, the patience, the deeper love that the Lord gives those who continue to walk in His way for years and years, those whom are easy to spot: gray hair, big smiles, and open arms.

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." (Prov. 16:31)

Their Cunning Ways

2011-02-23T21:15:00.003-05:00

So, the more my kids understand me, the better they get at manipulating me. They may, in fact, be getting close to knowing me better than I know myself. I must stay on my toes.

Let's say that it is late afternoon and they want to watch a DVD or show of some sort. The strategies:

Levi's method: "Mom, I practiced my piano and all the chores are done. Jesse and I just got an extra tub of corn brought in. Can I help you with supper? (Me: no, but thank you!) Well, do you think we could all watch a short DVD?
Unpacking the Manipulation: Oh, how can I resist a checked-off to-do list?! He knows I love it when things have been accomplished. It is sooooo hard to resist rewarding that kind of laundry list.

Delaney's method: "You're probably going to say no, but, can we watch something?"
UtM: Who wants to be the Parent of No all the time? She tugs, tugs, tugs at my guilt-strings.

Jesse's method: Ummm, nothing. That boy is utterly incapable of manipulation so far. He's just all Jesse, all the time.

Sara's method: "Mom, there's this really neat show about science on PBS right now and I was wondering if I could turn it on and see if everyone wants to watch it with me?"
UtM: She has been sent. She has been coached. She has been told what to say. She plays this role well and figures she has nothing to lose. She never forgets a line.

Leah's method: She turns on the TV.
UtM: She remembers an occasion at some point in her life where this worked. Most likely during soccer season. Therefore, she will continue to rely on this strategy.

Books, books, we got books

2011-02-17T15:39:00.003-05:00

"A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest."
— C.S. Lewis

I feel a bit shortchanged from my childhood (in relative terms, mom!). There I was, reading for hours/days/weeks/years on end, with nary a book list in sight. Other than a deep, long-lasting and well-deserved love affair with all Laura Ingalls Wilder books, I basically grabbed whatever I could get my hands on. Most of it, I will say, was book-candy.

Reading is highly esteemed and elevated in this clique we call homeschooling, and book lists abound. However, after forcing myself through many "read-alouds" from some of these lists, I can see that the "it's a classic!" argument sometimes gets too high of priority. Sure, some books simply stand the test of time. But I also suspect that some have made it onto these lists because they have moved up after less "morally acceptable" classics got knocked off. I'm in the "learning the list-makers" phase.

Things I have learned:
1) Shorter is usually better at our phase. Honestly, some of these books must have been short stories that unnecessarily got stretched out.
2) We are NOT the Wisdom and Millers family. All books that detail the idyllic farm life where Johnny pleasantly brings in the milk each morning for his sisters to use the cream to make butter will be scrapped from our lists.
3) Yes, I have to force them a little bit to get them into deeper books and harder reading. But, I'd better be SURE that book is worth their time and effort or my reading suggestions will lose clout quickly.
4) If I can read us all one great, laugh-out-loud-and-cry-too book each year, we have done well.
5) Little House books still rule.

On My Mind: Being the Church and $$

2011-02-13T10:59:00.003-05:00

Spending a whole year in James with the kiddos is very interesting. We move slowly through verse and yet circumstances/books/verses/discussions have all kept coming up through the seasons that add meat and complement to where we are in James. Hmmmm....

For example: one verse from Luke has really stuck with me since this past summer -
"When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you;"

In order to invite those in need, I have to see them. I have to have my eyes open, and have my eyes opened. As with most things in the past, when I pray ask God to lead me, He uses my willingness in ways in which I never would have imagined. This all then leads me back into James 2, where I am seeing that this whole living out of my faith is very personal, very in my face, very day-to-day. I know I have shown partiality, I know that I have overlooked those in true need. And then, of course, there's this:
"What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?"

Hello. Then this past week I read on Cindy's blog a very good commentary on something that Eric and I have always been troubled by: how are we showing partiality right in our church meetings? Our activities of fellowship? We have been on both ends: the ones who have been given bags of groceries or anonymous envelopes of money (tears of gratitude!) and the ones who were able to give. But aren't traditional churches set up these days in America to be prohibitive to giving to the poor right in their midst? If we are in the pew and get passed the plate, we are expected to put something in for the salary(ies), the electric bill, the missions to the poor that are "out there". Then everyone can meet at the restaurant after "church" for a great $40 fellowship meal. Isn't this part of the reason the truly poor and needy and invisible people stay "out there" and our church meetings have become so uniformly middle-upper class?

The Church (universal) has to be a safe place to come as we are. Our lives have to be opened to sharing the tangible gospel of Jesus Christ by living open, knowing that nothing is "mine", all is to be shared, given away, used up, including myself.

I.Am.So.Seasonal.

2011-02-06T08:06:00.004-05:00

How could I ever live anywhere but the midwest? Would I survive? Would my seasons still feel like seasons if they didn't look like seasons?

In this, the dead of winter, I am hibernating, and it is good. I read deeply. I think and think and think. I crave learning new things because I have time. I clean things that were not touched through the entire fall sports season. Even as I get frustrated with inane tax codes and HSA babble, I love to do all the taxes and get the sense of great accomplishment when they are done. It makes me feel like I'm right back in the office with my dad, helping do the farm books in a warm house in the cold of winter (ok, this house is not warm like their house, but my extra slippers and sweaters compensate).

I find new music that will sustain me throughout the year, when I don't have time or the inclination to find it. I visit. I plan, and plan and plan. I cook differently -- everyone does this, right? I do not make my comfort-food-only-I-like-it-tuna-noodle in July. That is a winter food. We make soups and more breads, and casseroles and apparently, lots of things with melted cheese.

I have too many ideas, ways to make things better, ways to help, ways to get involved. Dangerous. Can I make it out of winter without having taken on so many things that I will kill my spring-summer-fall? As I am learning in every season, this means waiting on God, listening to the Spirit before I say yes or say my ideas out loud. My prayers, my trust deepens in the slow time of winter.

Trips to the library mean many evenings where all 7 of us have our noses in books and some music quietly playing. Or craft supplies left out for days. Piano practice and playing gets deeper and longer.

I love winter. I don't love it for it's cold and ice and gray days (although I do love it's annual bug-killing cycle, and how it rests the earth). I love it because of spring. How could there be spring without winter? How could I work hard without rest? How could I know joy without knowing sadness?

Given Time to Think...

2011-02-02T10:00:00.003-05:00

When my parents had their own home built and we moved in, I was 6 years old. Nearly all of the 30+ years since, they have a had a couch in front of their big picture window in the living room. My favorite spot soon became a corner of whatever couch was there, staring out the big window. I would take breaks from reading whatever book I was in and daydream endlessly while looking at the weather...the landscape...the crops...my brother outside working while I was in a nice warm house.

I see a little Heather developing in Sara. Of course they all have been fascinated by the winter storm over the past few days, keeping me updated on every development and venturing outside at regular intervals yesterday to play hockey with duct tape and hiking sticks. But today it's too windy. It was starting to snow heavily, too, as Sara took advantage of a lull in schoolwork to sit on our couch and stare endlessly out the window at the "blizzard", the many downed limbs from last night, and the regular snow plows. I sat beside her quietly and we made occasional comments.

"That's really a lot of limbs down," she noted.

"Look at that wind whipping around the barn," I pointed out.

"I'm glad Jesse and I fed the cats before the snow came," she said.

"I"m so glad we're in here and not out there," I added.

We sat and just watched for a while more.

"God must have a big, big, big, big memory to figure out what each next snowflake is going to look like," Sara said quietly.

Amen, girl.

To Form a Habit

2011-01-25T07:02:00.003-05:00

We have a room off of the back of the house, off the kitchen, that was built on by the previous owners. I understand it is called a "Florida" room. This is interesting to me because it only feels like Florida out there in the middle of summer here, which seems very unhelpful to me. Anyway.

The Florida room is where Eric decided to put the corn stove he built a few years ago to assist in the heating of our house. The stove heats water which then runs in lines through our furnace which pulls the heat out of the water and pumps it through our vents. He is working on getting more and more of the heat from the stove into the water lines, but because it really heats, the result is that the Florida room, when the stove is running, is toasty warm. When it is not running, you might as well be outside in that room.

Because of a redesign of the water tank, the stove has not been operational this fall/winter. Thus, once it got cold, my mantra began: "shut the office door" (Eric has his office out there). "Shut the door". "Don't forget to shut the door!" And etc. We keep most of the winter coats and boots out there because they were too big and bulky to be in the pantry, so every time they were getting their snow gear on, they had to be out in that room. "SHUT THE DOOR!"

So this past weekend, Eric got the corn stove going. Ahhhhhhh. And now the Florida room is warm. However, if you leave the door shut to the Florida room, it starts to feel like the equator out there and we don't get any of that great residual heat for the house. So -- you can see this coming, right? -- now that 3 months of constant repitition has finally sunk in, I have spent the last 3 days doing a 180: "open the door!" "Don't forget to leave the door open!" Jesse, who always takes the longest to remember a "rule", had just started shutting the door with consistency, oh, about last week.

Childhood can be so confusing.

January hike....check!

2011-01-15T21:23:00.005-05:00

After a long day of auctions and errands...a snowy hike was the pefect antidote to a boring Saturday. Deciphering animal tracks ("are you sure that's not a bear, Dad?"), moments of silence to listen for what else might be in the woods besides our noisy selves, and, of course, being a little "lost" when mom and dad had a slight disagreement on which marker to follow (okay, okay...he was right!).

On the boardwalk before the "real" trail...

No, we're not cold!

In the Mind of a Cold 8-year-old

2011-01-11T21:30:00.002-05:00

Our homeschooling lesson of the day, discussing which birds migrate south for winter, was perfect timing: the snow was coming down thick and we were cold.

"Geese. Ducks. Cardinals?" said Sara, with some uncertainty. Then, before Jesse could jump in with correction on what she knew was probably a wrong bird in that list somewhere, she continued proudly. "And they all fly in a 'V' shape as they go south, which stands for 'vacation.'"

Looking forward...

2011-01-07T21:33:00.001-05:00

...in 2011 to:

- spending more time "learning" Jesse and Sara. Asking them to do more with us alone, so we can talk and see what is going on inside those heads. Not allowing Delaney and Levi to speak and decide for them as much.

- helping Eric work on his fish/greenhouse idea

- at least one family hike per month, with at least 4 new trails

- “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you." (Luke 14)

- paying. down. debt.

- writing more. I'm not certain yet of what this will look like, but I'm feeling the inclination. Should it be on here? Simply through the little PR/newsletter work I do? Something new?

- to be continued...

Looking Back...

2010-12-30T09:40:00.003-05:00

2010 was not a good year for me. Did we face some hard circumstances? Yes. But nothing out of the norm for life; nothing that God has not told us we could expect. But somehow all these circumstances combined with my response to them and general habits have me looking back and being not very happy with myself. If I can be a little "new-agey", I was out of balance. Probably slightly depressed. Did not take my circumstances and depression and bad responses to the Lord nearly enough, but instead I just got stuck.

The good thing is I feel myself coming out of the fog; God is gracious and patient and never-changing. He is FAITHFUL. So I have used this relatively-quiet December to rest in Him, and I remember now that hard years are not to be forgotten. I want to remember what I have learned this year. I will focus on coming plans, goals, ideas, months, soon; today I will write what I want to remember from 2010. Some are just memories, some are lessons, some light-hearted, some not, all random.

(Written to my future self)
1. Your husband was able to take care of himself in long-needed ways through 2 surgeries this year. He had employment and time to do this with peace.

2. All that back-of-the-mind worry about your neglect of Leah's one-on-one teaching time was for naught. She picked up her siblings basic chapter books sometime mid-summer and announced that she had read them. You didn't believe her until Eric asked her to read the Bible passage one night and she did it. You're pretty sure the homeschooling police cannot arrest you now because you have taught all of your children to read.

3. Your kids were (eventually) excited about moving to Missouri. They could envision themselves starting over and look at it as an adventure. Even though it didn't happen, they have the experience of preparing themselves to do something completely new.

4. Speaking of trying new things, Delaney sewed the skirt, did the judges interview, and walked up and down the stage at the fair without tears or hatred toward you. Between that and two piano concerts and soccer, her confidence has bloomed this year. Your pushing was not too much.

5. Seeing Levi enjoy and thrive in his advanced choir brought bursting joy to your heart. Don't be too hard on him; there's a lot ruminating inside. Just don't let him be a slacker.

6. The $$ setbacks were many and out-of-the-ordinary. Let it go. Focus.

7. The barn sale. The barn sale. The barn sale. Unrestrained joy. The body of Christ, working for His glory, in more ways than can be counted.

8. All of the phone calls, the endless computer hours, the meetings were worth it to build community through soccer (and football) and help with a smooth season. But especially worth it for the deepening of relationships and new friendships. Now find a way to do it with less computer time.

9. The complete overwhelming undeserved blessing of Eric having 3 job offers from which to choose. Having your husband/their daddy "back".

10. "Hold Us Together" (Matt Maher)
"You are Mine" (Enter the Worship Circle)

11. The terror and yet perfect fun of belting out "Come on Up to the House" with dear Pam at South Boston. The leaky, cobwebby cabin that had no water in the morning, but making the best of it all. A perfect, quiet afternoon at Elk Creek.

12. Sister=pregnant. JOY!

13. Kenneth, Irene, Carrie, Robert, Doris, Janet, Zoanne, Shirley and so many more at the nursing home. Jesse, saying every single week, "I can't wait until Friday."

Thank you Lord, for all things.

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-24T14:24:00.003-05:00

(Thanks to grandpa and grandma, we are so festive-looking!)

"In the first quiet moments of this new day my mind is drawn to Hebrews 2. Oh, how His voice speaks into my silence! The incarnation. Jesus becoming like us and sharing our human nature (Heb. 2:14). What a wonderful truth this is! Veiled in flesh the Godhead see. Hail the incarnate Deity! God has lavished His love upon us, with all of our sin and rebellion and pride. That is how God acted toward us, and now we are called upon to demonstrate the fact that we are His children by having the same attitude toward others, including our enemies.

The identification of all of life with regard for the welfare of others -- this is the message of Christmas." -- Dave Black, Dec. 2010

New Kid in Town

2010-12-09T22:51:00.007-05:00

D: I'm going to grow out my hair really long and then donate it for wigs.

Me: Great!

Waiting...waiting....waiting

D: How long is it now? Is it long enough to cut the ponytail?

Me: Nope

More waiting...

Me: I think it's long enough now! Do you want to wait until soccer is done and then cut it?

D: Yep.

Waiting...waiting......WAITING...for the team to lose : )

Me: Hair appointment next week!

D: What?!? I don't know. Should I? Yes, I'm ready. No, wait, maybe I won't. I don't have to, right?

Me: Right - your decision.

D (this morning): I'm ready, let's go!

And she did it! Proud of her and her attitude about the whole thing. Interestingly, she knew exactly what kind of hairstyle she wanted and she was right...it looks great on her.

For my mama*

2010-11-29T23:23:00.004-05:00

It's a funny thing, the way God designed families. You're born, you grow up, you leave your mother and father and get married and start a new family. Generally, this means you also do not live with your siblings, because they have grown up and left and started families, too. And in effect, what this all actually means, is that no one who lives in your house when you are married and raising your own children knows that you have become your mother.

You sound exactly like her when you tell everyone that Cheerios are it and Do Not ask for anything else.

"Yes, you have to match up all the socks" rolls right off your tongue without a thought.

You find yourself tracing words over and over on scribbled lists and notes while on the phone.

You look at your hands...enough said.

However, your husband, your children -- they don't know that that's not really you. That's your mother. You know, the one you're so different from? She made stacks, you purged (but now you might need a stack or two from time to time...and don't touch it!). She forgot things, you remembered (except now, when you forget). She thought of her family first, you thought of yourself first (is that changing yet?!? Please change me Lord...).

Now though, to them, to your family, it is you. Because you are now The Mom. So thank the very good Lord that since we all become our mother sooner or later, I have a mother who gave me a full tank of love to pass on to my family and beyond each day. Because now, in many ways, I find myself becoming my mother:

I am so glad to see and be with my children and husband every day.

I laugh; at myself, at big things, but especially at the little things.

I am an optimist.

I do what needs to be done, even when I'm tired.

I am rejuvenated by and rely on music in so many ways. Passing that on to my children is so important to me.

I pat people.

I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. I will never give up on seeking Him.

I'm so thankful I'm becoming my mother. I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday.

*I never actually call her mama. It just sounded right for the title.

On getting older: them, that is

2010-11-21T08:19:00.003-05:00

Another birthday week has arrived. It's impossible to forget their arrival around here since they are anticipated and counted down with publicity from the very minute the previous-birthday-person blows out their candles. Besides, being the completely seasonal person I am -- a fact I have come to see more clearly and embrace more fully -- this birthday has too many triggers to be forgotten. Big Ten football, end of harvest, my dad and husband's birthdays...the impending Thanksgiving. Eleven years ago I had the 22nd circled on the calendar for 9 months, the boy stayed in me to grow even bigger, we induced, and my first child was born on the day before Thanksgiving (falls on the same day this year!).

We watched Toy Story 3 last night. In the scene where the mom sees Andy's nearly empty room before he heads to college and starts crying, Levi looks at me and says, "You're going to be like that."

"Yep," I replied. And then the next 7 years of my life flashed before me in a blink, and I just about started crying right there. SEVEN years?! Impossible. There's too much to do, too much to teach him, too many memories to be made to stuff into that short of a time. I love an essay I just read reinforcing that the "teenage" years don't have to be what the popular culture dictates - our kids can learn and grow and pull away and become young adults without buying into the world's idea of adolescence. I especially appreciated Neufeld's words of guidance: "I would suggest three words to guide child raising and education: expectations, responsibility and risk."

I know we need to add more responsibility and risk into our children's lives, especially Levi's. I don't want to just create "situations", either. I think we need to improve at seeing those naturally-occurring opportunities for them to take more responsibility and fail or succeed. I'm praying that my eyes will be opened to those and for the patience to see them through. We're starting to move into the next phase; I want to enjoy it and them as much as I am this one.

Where's my heart?

2010-11-05T15:49:00.003-04:00

Better late than never...getting down notes on idols from my "get-away" conference in Sept...convicting!

"We make something an idol when we inflate it and ask it to be God-like"

ASK YOURSELF:

- If I can't have it, am I still content?
- What do you organize your life around?
- What do you want or crave or wish over?
- What are you willing to sacrifice a large amount of time or money to obtain?
- What do you fear losing?
- What do you rejoice over?
- What makes you angry or frustrated?
- How do you define sucess or failure?
- Where do you go for comfort or safety?

Then, identify, confess, and repent; you have to replace the idol with God.

November

2010-11-01T15:22:00.003-04:00

vote.
birthday.
anniversarybirthday.
BIG birthday.
soccersoccersoccer (<-----typo? please? no? )
birthday.
birthday.
KID birthday.
Thanksgiving. And I will.
birthdayinremembrance.
Thanksgiving II.
birthday.

November.

All my favorite craft projects involve chocolate

2010-10-26T20:04:00.005-04:00

Ok, anyone who knows me knows there are actually very FEW craft projects instigated by me around here. Usually, a craft getting done happens because Delaney got ahold of a teacher's manual or lesson book and saw accompanying *OPTIONAL* craft instructions. To me, that "optional" means, "your children will grow into fine citizens with decent jobs and families even if they don't do this craft".

However, when we are learning about birds, I gleefully do the obligatory shopping ahead of time for the 423 special ingredients/materials that are a mainstay of all craft projects. This is because when we learn about birds, we get to pretend we are birds and make Nests.

The "twigs" are chow mein noodles...

The "grass" is shredded wheat...

The "mud" is peanut butter and chocolate chips...

And our "eggs" are grapes! Yum!

I can share it here!!

2010-10-17T21:54:00.004-04:00

GREAT news from my sister and brother-in-law!

They're expecting their first child!

Can you tell I'm excited?!?

My editing instructors would've failed me for using this many exclamation points!!!!!

Love 'ya, sis. Can't wait to be Aunt Heather all over again. : )

This month, thankful for...

2010-08-22T07:31:00.002-04:00

...time with my awesome, inspiring sister

...seeing my mother relaxed on the third week of August for the first time in many, many years

...choices and the freedom to make them

...kids who go with the flow but still talk about what they're feeling

...kids who ask to start schoolwork again after feeling a little rusty in their skills during a little knowledge competition with friends

...new soccer and football friends, even during this, the craziest yet sports season

...a break in the humidity and heat

...14 years with E

...music, music, music...I could go on and on

...the Spirit in me, prompting me to continue walking with Him.

The Rocket Story

2010-07-20T11:17:00.003-04:00

So, Levi was selected to go to the Ohio State Fair with his "Rockets Away!" 4-H project. We're excited for him to have the experience!

I am admitting that, given the amount of time dedicated to the "presentation" or "decoration" of the rocket, I was very skeptical about any kind of award beyond an "A" ribbon. Levi kept telling me, "It's fine, mom". Somehow, I just wasn't sure the judges would appreciate the aesthetic qualities of duct tape as much as he and his father.

Of course, as it usually is when it comes to all things engineering-related, I was proven wrong. It's not that the rocket was sharp-looking in any sense, but I think the fact that Levi knew what he was talking about, had built the rocket(s), had built a launcher with Eric, and understood the science behind it all counted for a lot. The clincher, though? I can't say for sure, but my guess it was the story and documentation of the final test launches (done 2 days before judging, resulting in the need to completely rebuild a new rocket -- see picture). In the book, the requirement was just to document the height and velocity from launches with different amount of water and/or pressure. Levi and Eric decided, after 8 adventurous launches in 90-degree heat and humidity that ended with Mom running to the store for more 2-liters, that the judges should see exactly what had happened. I'll let the spreadsheet "notes" section speak for itself!

Psalm 31...fresh bread

2010-07-18T20:51:00.001-04:00

How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.

In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.

Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.

In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.

Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

And there goes June...

2010-06-28T11:07:00.004-04:00

New swimming suits to protect and play in the summer heat...

Fun with cousin...

40th birthday wish...instead of Nov. party, a June trip to the "homeland" with good friends...

including a peaceful afternoon at Elk Creek Lake...

and a fun night performing at the "oprey"!

Some Barn Sale Pics

2010-06-07T07:56:00.002-04:00

What a fun time we have had!

Sunday Brain Dump

2010-05-16T22:13:00.003-04:00

*It's barn sale week! For once, I am trying to remind myself to actually get pictures of this annual event that will live in our hearts and minds forever. I know why I never remember to take pictures -- a billion other details to remember -- but I'm trying to overcome that this year.

*The kids finished up their school work last week (minus a few math reviews that we don't mind at all stretching out). I would like to feel like we have this nice big summer stretching out before us (and really, we do), but the fact that all my soccer organization responsibilities are ramping up makes me feel like the start of our next school year (=soccer/football practice time) is basically a blink of an eye away. I think this is what "they" mean by the years going by quicker as you age.

*Delaney: "They dressed up and had to act like Pilgrims on Fetch, Mom." (a PBS show they watch)
Me: "Really? Do you think you would like to live as a Pilgrim?"
Delaney: "Yes, with just a little bit of electronics."

*Been thinking about this quote a lot this week, also amidst discussions in ladies Bible class about spiritual gifts and how they are used for the Body of Christ: "Brokenness: How on earth did we equate leadership with success?" We cannot continue to look to the world for a pattern on how to disciple and build up the Church. I am so encouraged by weak believers in whom the Lord is strong.

*My brother's strawberries are almost ready! I can taste them with the famous shortcake now.

Now on with the week!

Uncharted territory

2010-04-29T12:18:00.003-04:00

One of my offspring is now 5 feet tall.

And weighs 100 pounds.

And wears a size 9 *MENS* shoe.

We announce these milestones around here like they are a normal part of life moving on. Which they are, of course, until I remember carrying said child in my body, giving birth, dressing him in cute baby clothes and the infamous swaddling blankets.

Then I hyperventilate a little.

Levi's latest LEGO creation, for Uncle Dave

2010-04-13T19:38:00.001-04:00

The Star Wars LEGO speed skating competition.

They make our days

2010-04-02T07:47:00.002-04:00

Leah, telling Eric about her attempts to ride the bike without training wheels...

L: ...And I kept trying to pedal like mommy said but I fell down.

E: So we need to practice and work on it together this weekend?

L: Yep (with a big smile)

E: OK. You remind me, and we'll do it Saturday.

L: (thinking) Well, sometimes I go to sleep and when I wake up I forget everything. Like, sometimes, I'll just be sleeping, and then I wake up. And then I remember, Oh! Yeah! I hate baked beans!

Mice Tales, continued

2010-03-06T20:19:00.002-05:00

A few of you may remember the story of a continuing thread of my marriage, the story of How Mice Are Taken Care Of. You may remember how very grateful I am that my husband is perfectly willing to very promptly remove any mice from our dwelling, usually at the expense of the mouse's life, but how I also wish he might use more conventional means, like, say, a mousetrap. Instead, Whatever Is Handy is grabbed when the mouse is cornered, and that then-bloody appliance/utensil/storage container gets thrown out because I can't stand the thought of using it again.

Well, he's acheived a personal best, and I don't even get a new appliance out of it. This week, work was finally set in motion on the November-kitchen-flood-fix, beginning with a section of new cabinet bases. When the installer pulled out my oven from the wall first thing in the morning, I quickly inspected to see how much of a cleaning disaster it was. I saw something on the wall and my morning-brain just couldn't quite process it. I called Levi over. "Levi," I said. "Is that a dead mouse flattened against the kitchen wall?"

"Whoa," Levi said. "It is."

A near-petrified, perfectly flat mouse, long tail and all, stuck to the wall behind my stove. And then I remembered, sometime last year (I think?) when Eric has chased a mouse around the kitchen and when it had run on the countertop and -- you guessed it -- behind the stove he -BAM- slammed my oven back against the wall.

Well, now we know, he got it.

Well, I Had to Capture This

2010-03-02T23:04:00.002-05:00

My baby's last day as a 5-year-old...

Listmakers

2010-02-26T13:54:00.003-05:00

The kids spent a night with the grandparents this week. Four of them were enjoying filling me in on their adventures of helping grandpa feed the animals. Then Delaney decided to make a list...

Delaney: I think my order of favorite animals would have to be...cats, chickens, cows, dead cow.

Leah: Mine is...cats, chickens, cows, dead cow.

Jesse: My favorite is cows, then cats, then chickens, then dead cow.

Sara: Ummm....cows, cats.....dead cow, chickens.

(Now that's a girl after my own heart!)

Fun with Haiku

2010-02-18T21:20:00.005-05:00

How could you not have fun with haiku? We're into Ancient Japan right now...the perfect time to experiment with the fun-for-all poetic verse.

Levi's:

"Snow"

White is everywhere
I want to play, play all day

It must be glowing

Delaney's:

"Cardinals"

I saw a green tree

It did have four red cardinals

Sitting, pretty, there

Happy Anniversary, Eric!

2010-02-18T21:15:00.003-05:00

Today, 15 years ago, was the first time I ever laid eyes on him. Even though I was 1 1/2 hours later to meet him, even though I was so nervous that I talked a mile a minute, even though we ate at RAX when he hated RAX, he stuck with me.

Love you dear!

Stretching ourselves

2010-02-15T22:10:00.003-05:00

So, here's a story. It's long, but I have to write it down because I don't want to forget it. Levi and Jesse have been pooling their money and trying to make enough/save enough to buy a certain Star Wars LEGO kit. They thought their pace was too slow and have been asking for bigger jobs that might pay big dividends (no $ for regular chores here, but instead of an allowance we pay for jobs that are extra-hard/time consuming). It doesn't take much looking around here right now to see a big job -- the snow. The one half of our driveway had not yet been touched -- not even stepped on since the first big snow. Walls of snow had been pushed up on either end; I figured we'd be driving out that side of the "U" sometime in April.

So the deal was offered: Levi would be the project manager. Snow had to be shoveled from the snow wall by the garage to a point 10 feet from the road (which Eric would shovel so the kids wouldn't be too near the road). If the job was done well enough that Eric could drive the van out that side without getting stuck, they got $30 (it started at $25, but I upped it because I couldn't imagine them doing it and if they actually did it would be WAY worth $30.). Levi could do all the work himself and get all the money, or he could "hire" workers and make deals with them for part of the earnings. However, if the van didn't make it, they got $0.

Levi and Jesse were excited about the money, but very unsure about their prospects. They decided to give it a try somewhere around 2 p.m. Sunday. We gave them some pointers on how not to waste time/energy, and they set at it. They were back in less than an hour, panting and almost completely defeated. "There's no way," Levi said. "My arms are killing me, and we barely got anything done."

We didn't say anything. After about an hour of playing inside they suited up again and said they were going to keep going. Levi said later that it was like he got 10 times as much done in that second effort than in the first, and he didn't know why (although when I asked how Jesse had done, he mentioned that Jesse just kept talking the whole time and it helped because it kept his mind off how hard the job was: ). When I looked out about an hour later and saw how much they had done, I bundled up and went out with some "energy snacks" (Valentines Day cookies the girls and I had made) and gave a lot of encouragement. They pepped up and kept digging. I called them in for supper about 1/2 hour later, and they came in and unsuited and warmed up. We didn't say anything about the job, and the light was starting to dim. Levi looked unsure about whether he wanted to go out again, and he knew that they had yet to tackle the hardest part -- the built-up wall of snow right by the garage that was blocking the way to the rest of the driveway that had not been shoveled.

He asked Jesse again and Jesse said OK, so once again they layered on snowsuits and gloves and boots and hats and coats and headed out. I cleaned up, I did a little laundry, Eric read with the girls, he did a little computer work, I did a little computer work...we completely lost track of time and the boys. I was sitting and talking with Eric and it was about 7:30 and it hit me: "Are the boys still outside?!"

Eric went out; they weren't done yet. It was totally dark and the temp was dropping fast. I had told him that Jesse definitely had to come in, but he told Levi also, that he should stop. Jesse was very glad to get his clothes off and warm pajamas on and get some hot chocolate. Eric came in with Levi, and Levi was so disappointed. "We were so close," he said. "Really?" I asked -- because although I knew they had been shoveling and really working on it, I just didn't think they could have gotten it to the point where it was truly passable. "I think I could," he said. Well, I just knew then that I couldn't make him stop. Eric had decided to go out and shovel the portion near the road, so at least it would be done before the next snow that was coming. I told Levi that I couldn't let Jesse go out again but that if he wanted to I would leave the decision up to him. He was already changed into his pajamas. The thought of a blanket and hot chocolate fought with the thought of getting it done for about 10 seconds in his eyes, then he ran upstairs and threw on those clothes again, suited up again, and headed outside.

I got everyone else ready for bed and settled into reading or some activity and then I couldn't help but bundle up myself and head outside. I fed and watered the cats first, and while I was in the chicken barn, Levi yelled, "Mom! We're going to try it! I'm riding with Dad! Watch us!"

So I stood on top of one of our snow mountains in the backyard and watched and prayed and grinned as they pulled the van out of the garage and drove it...right up the right side of the lane and onto US 40. Eric honked and beeped and they pulled it right back in the other side and back into the garage. You would've thought we all had medaled at the Olympics. Levi jumped from the van and hugged me and hugged Eric and said, "Thanks, Dad." Yes, I was near tears.

He ran inside yelling -- and this was part of what made me SO proud of him -- "We did it, Jess...we did it!" It was like he matured before our eyes and out came strength and perseverance and humility and thoughtfulness. I wanted to soak him in.

God teaches me way more through my children each day than I teach them. I'm convinced of it.

So much going on, but it's all in my head

2010-02-09T08:48:00.001-05:00

Will be thinking for some time on this passage and the discussion the kids and I had about it this morning...

From Luke 17:
"Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat'? Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' "

Troubles...what troubles?

2010-01-25T20:11:00.003-05:00

"Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty." -- Socrates

"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife." -- Proverbs 17:1

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." -- I Titus 6:6-8

A Birthday Ritual

2010-01-10T21:53:00.004-05:00

No, not the pick-your-menu thing! Although we still certainly do that. We like to spend some time sharing with the birthday person (or persons, in this case) what we enjoy about them...what we're thankful for in regards to them. Thought I would share some of the comments:

About Jesse:

"I love being his twin"

"He's nice"

"He puts others before himself"

"He taught me a lesson...I was being mean to him and he was nice right back at me"

"He's very brave"

About Sara:

"I'm glad she was there with me when I was born"

"She's my best sister and I love her"

"She gets us going in the morning and has a lot of 'pow!' energy"

"She's a very hard worker in her school work and house work"

"She's loving and really cares about other people"

"I love to play with her"

Happy 7th Birthday twins!!

2009 Memories

2009-12-31T08:42:00.003-05:00

Favorite kid quote: "Yibish" -- What Leah says when something's not going right, or she's surprised by something, or the weather is extreme, or...

Favorite movie: Avatar 3D

Favorite homeschool moment: I should probably write a whole post -- we've had some great times this year. Selfishly, I would say learning with the kids how the Strait/Rock of Gibraltar got its name was an unusually "wow" moment for me on many levels. I think it captured an essence of what we're doing here...how we get the freedom to learn the big picture and connect so many things together: faith, historic events, choice we make, living in this world. I know that probably sounds strange, but it was one of those "aha" things for me. On a more kid-focused level, I would say it has been pure delight watching Jesse impress me daily with his reading and writing improvement. And Leah got the hang of basic reading in 2009, so all five can read now! I'm just along for the ride...

Favorite trip: Didn't go very much this year....Kentucky reunion trip wins!

Favorite field trip: Lots of good choices, but the warm fall day that the kids and I took off to the local arboretum to collect leaves and watch birds was simple and special.

Favorite (new to me) book read: A Thread of Grace, Mary Doria Russell

Favorite Bible verse/passage: Isaiah 40 ("Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told to you from the beginning? The LORD is the everlasting God...")

Favorite family time: meeting new friends and hanging out together at the soccer/football fields every night during fall sports

Favorite new song: Sara Groves, "Different Kinds of Happy"

I might think of more...what are your favorites?

Some Holiday Fun 2009

2009-12-29T19:25:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T12:32:00.002-05:00

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God, Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

Christmas Survey

2009-12-15T13:36:00.003-05:00

I'm resorting to memes for content. : )

Christmas Survey

1.) Have you started your Christmas shopping?

Yes. We're about mid-stream in a very small stream around here.

2.) Tell me about one of your special traditions.
Stockings filled with small, useful-or-not things that bring great joy and delight. Nothing big allowed! Chapsticks and socks and once-a-year candies and matchbox cars and toothbrushes. They love all that more than anything, just like I did.

3.) When do you put up your Tree?
Ummm, usually, the first weekend or so of December, but this year and last (Florida) we have had no tree. We've got a hand-made tree cut out on the wall that serves as our Thanksgiving tree and our Jesse tree. Eric has plans to make a wooden one that the Jesse tree ornaments can hang on.

4.) Are you a Black Friday shopper?
Cyber Monday

5.) Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home?
Travel. We're trying to be home on Christmas morning/day now, but will see how that goes. This is what we get for moving away from family. : )

6.) What is your funniest Christmas memory?
We had several years in a row where our perfectly healthy children would get to their grandma's house for Christmas and one or two or five would proceed to throw up throughout the visit. (One year we got her a steam cleaner as a gift.) I came to expect it, but was also thoroughly embarrassed. One year the family was gathered in the large room opening gifts and I saw one of the twins come to the door with this look on his face, searching for me or Eric. Everyone was facing away from him, so I hurried quietly to him and whisked him to the bedroom, where he showed me that he had woken from a nap and thrown up all over the floor. Nice. I had it and him cleaned up before the gifts were done! I really don't know why it strikes me as funny when I remember it, but it does. I think it's one of those "laugh about it or else" memories.

7.) What is your favorite Christmas Movie of All time?
White Christmas. I'm a sap.
Also pretty fond of Charlie Brown Christmas.

8.) Do you do your own Christmas Baking? What’s your favorite treat?
Not a big baker. We make something for neighbors each year (not always food), and sometimes that turns into holiday baking. My favorite treat is my sister-in-law's chex mix/m&m stuff covered with white chocolate.

9.) Fake or Real Tree?
Real.

10.) What day (as a Mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done?
When one of the kids starts counting and says, "Hey, there's only 10 days until Christmas!"

11.) Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?
Is there any other time?

12.) What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?
Playing board games with family.

13.) What Christmas craft do you like the best?
Ha!

14.) Christmas music? Yes or No. And if yes, What is your favorite song?

YES

Love all the Christmas carols. Joy to the World, O Holy Night, God Rest Ye merry are favs, but love so many. Non-traditional favorite is Barlow Girl's "Light Has Come"

15.) When do you plan to finish all your shopping?
It would be nice to be done by the 20th, but my planning has been so off this year, I've lowered all expectations.

Any blogger is welcome to participate in this meme, even if you haven’t been tagged yet. Just simply copy and paste the questions into your blog, and then answer them. Then tag 5 or more of your favorite blogs, and leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged.

When you post your blog, please spread some Christmas cheer, and leave a link back to Heather's Top Ten Christmas Blog, and the blog that you were tagged by (I wasn't tagged, but I found this at The Common Room)

On a warm fall day...

2009-10-30T11:41:00.005-04:00

....you might head to the arboretum to view the beautiful colors and try to improve your tree identification.

...you might take your walking sticks but use them as anything but, especially when posing in front of mom's favorite tree.

...you might need a close-up to see the name of the tree.

...you might be inspired by big brother to see if you can make no noise while walking through the trees.

...you might get a little silly in all the fresh air.

...and you just might end up being thankful you took the time and went.

In which Levi demolishes a tried and true idiom

2009-10-28T21:48:00.004-04:00

Me, eyeing the small-stomach-gets-full-fast-child get her second helping of spaghetti and meatballs: "Are you sure about that? I think your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

D: "What does that mean?"

Levi: "Oh, that means you see something and you think you should get a lot of it, but it's probably too much to eat. My eyes do that all the time...

[pause]

But, they're usually right."

Random Wednesday thoughts

2009-10-07T23:18:00.002-04:00

*The non-intentional dropping of half of the large container of granola in the pantry this morning turned positive: 2 industrious 6-year-olds spent an hour completely cleaning out and re-organizing the pantry floor. They're good, too. They love having complete control over the vacuum wand.

*I joined a community choir (yes, just me!). I think I'm the only 30-something (or anywhere near). I love the breathing practice, and the vowel formation, and the being instructed in something again, and being around other people who sigh with pure delight at beautiful harmonies.

*Having children narrate back to you what you just read them never fails to entertain and enlighten.

*Even if the dishwasher is not being used because it just has a leak, and you're fine with hand-washing dishes all summer, you should still open it from time to time just to see if everything is the same inside. It might not be. It might have black, smelly water pooling up.

*Husbands get big bonus points when they spend their only sports-free evening working on the dishwasher.

*There's really not time to waste in this world with fake "I'm fine" 's. Speak up.

*Leah: "I can't kiss you because you're sick. And I don't want to get your sick. But I can hug you! And I do love hugs!" Hard to beat an enthusiastic-for-life 5-year-old. : )

In the mood for a picture...

2009-09-15T07:42:00.003-04:00

...of what else? Elles ninos and ninas. (And marido.)

I am an ant

2009-09-09T18:55:00.002-04:00

Can I self-analyze for 5 quick minutes? Because 5 minutes is about all I've got.

I am an ant. Not a grasshopper, not a snail, definitely not a spider, not a worm. Given the nature of the life circumstances in which I find myself, I have quite a bit to "do" each day. Every day. And while my list varies some with seasons and life, most of what I do each day is very similar to what I did yesterday and what I will do tomorrow.

Right now I'm in one of those seasons where I have my "every day" stuff, plus. (The word "plus" holds a lot, doesn't it?) I am doing much better at keeping up with my list in this season, as opposed to the previous season (summer) when I didn't have as much to do and I tried to be a snail. I tried to slow down and relax and make everything else slow down and relax. That didn't work.

I think I can revel in my "ant"-ness and still relax. Relax, as in, "live life resting in the peace of God and not stressing about my list". I do better when I stay on everyday tasks and short-term plan tasks and long-term planning tasks and pour myself out each day. He gives me the strength I need to "be the ant".

Breaking News: Life filled with laughter and blessings after 13 years of marraige

2009-08-17T22:09:00.003-04:00

After soccer/football practices tonight, the kids were eating their snack while Eric had left to run an errand. I saw that he had left me a card for our anniversary, and opened it. It was perfect, and of course I started tearing up a little. After Levi noticed (he always is the one who notices) and got everyone to give me a group hug, I was just overwhelmed with the blessing of this life I have.

So I started to tell the kids how blessed they were to have a dad like Eric. I told them how smart their dad was, and how hard he works to take care of his family. And I told them that the best thing was how their dad loves God, and teaches them what he had learned from God. I paused so they could take it all in. Their faces were glowing with smiles as they finished their watermelon.

Then Leah, with bright eyes and an earnest face, paused with her fork mid-air and asked: "So, what's the bad news?"

Quote of the week...month...

2009-08-15T21:02:00.001-04:00

"I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please. Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don’t want enough of God to make me love a foreigner or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation. I want warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please."

Wilbur Rees

Our very lovely afternoon. Just lovely.

2009-08-02T22:41:00.003-04:00

Ever since her sister Sara and I took a quick jaunt through our local town's newest Antique Mall, Delaney has been asking to go, too. I asked her to wait until after her birthday, and told her she could plan to take some of her birthday money, if she wanted. She did. Today turned out to be a perfect day for the girls and I to go, and everything about our trip, our find(s), and then our resulting evening was just perfectly perfect. Can you guess what we found?

Best quote of the day: "Ladies don't ever yell, right Mom?" -- Delaney, as she stood at the bottom of the stairs with instructions on where to find the place mats and tablecloths to get ready for the tea party. Her sisters were upstairs playing and she knew they would want to be included on every step of the preparations. Instead of our -- ahem -- normal way of getting someones attention, she walked up and told them it was time to start getting everything ready. Like a lady.

More motherhood musings...

2009-07-20T22:16:00.003-04:00

By the time we had two children and were pregnant with the twins, we started to get more advice and offers of help. "Do whatever you have to do to get sleep yourself," one would say.

"Really, let us know when we can watch them for a few hours so you can get a break," some other brave soul would offer.

By the time our fifth came along and all were under age 5, we were blessed with help, gifts, and words of wisdom from many friends and family. And of course, we greatly appreciated all of this, as it was a very physically demanding time in our lives. Days were filled with diaper change after diaper change, nursing, holding, chasing, bathing, etc., and we had sore backs and scattered-brains to prove it.

So here we are, ages 5-9, and I'm thinking lately that we need to start a new trend in society: "child-showers", instead of baby showers. And I'm really not talking material items here (although they do go through shoes like diapers around here!). While we needed help physically in the baby years, it's the mental/emotional/intellectual torrent that leaves me ragged these days. They talk, they question, they lecture one another, they talk, they question again, they need interaction!

I can picture it now, instead of people offering burping advice or to rock the baby, they would say things to parents like me like, "You know, handling that emotional withdrawing in your daughter like this...", or "Would it be OK if I spent some time crafting with your 6-year-old?"

A girl can dream, right? ; )

My favorite July photo (so far)

2009-07-11T21:50:00.001-04:00

In which you see I am a slavedriver

2009-07-02T23:23:00.004-04:00

Me (dumping a new pile onto the bed): "Come and fold, Delaney."

Delaney (coming in to fold): "I knew you were going to say that."

Me: "Wow. How do you know such things?"

Delaney: "Because, whenever you see a pile of laundry and then you see me, you say, 'Come and fold'."

She totally gets it

2009-06-21T22:42:00.003-04:00

We acquired some speakers and a CD player to go with them this weekend that know they have found a true home. We couldn't help but testing them repeatedly after Eric got them set up and made sure they worked (they were from an auction). First, some classic rock guitar. Then, bluegrass. Then, classical. Then, Newsboys. Finally, it hit us -- and, even though it was June, we pulled out the Trans Siberian Orchestra Christmas arrangement with everything from violins to guitar to piano and so on in it; this is the one where I always "assign" an instrument for everyone to pretend they're playing, because the instruments play at different places and they really have to listen for it.

So we are blasting it in the living room, (and really only my brother and sister know what I mean here by blasting) and Delaney and Sara are the string section, Levi's got the drums, Jesse is the bass guitar, Leah and Eric are the electric guitars, I'm the keyboard. We love the sounds, the speakers, our family, music, just....life. Right in the middle of one of the full orchestration points, at the top of her lungs, with a huge grin on her face, Delaney says:

"I broke a string!"

Expectations

2009-06-15T15:34:00.003-04:00

Last evening, while Eric and the kids were playing in the back yard, two dogs came across the road running toward the kids and barking. I knew what was next, and it didn't take long: two screaming girls (Sara and Leah) and three other very nervous kids. Sara practically choked Eric while trying to climb up the back of his shirt as he tried to calm down the dogs, who were fairly small and friendly. The neighbor came quickly to retrieve her dogs. Fast forward to this morning, as we were making our way through a list of small jobs that needed to be done. Sara and Leah were tasked with sweeping the garage.

Sara, coming through the garage door into the kitchen with Leah: "Mom...um....we don't want to be outside alone."

Me (knowing why): "That's going to make for a pretty long summer and boring life, don't you think?

No smiles. Stone faces.

Me: "All right, here's the thing. I know that you feel scared that more dogs might surprise you outside. But, if you remember, you have been doing great petting new dogs you meet lately, and getting more comfortable. And, we know you don't want to miss swinging, and bike riding and soccer and everything outside, right?"

Them: "Right."

Me: "I think one thing we could do is to pray and ask God to help you not feel so afraid to be outside, to give you peace that He is always with you."

Sara: "So God would stop the dogs from coming and barking and just make them stand still?"

Me: "No, that might not happen. But He will definitely help you be brave and not be so scared. OK? You could pray right now in the garage."

A few minutes later. I'm in the bathroom and Leah yells through the door.

Leah: "Mom!? We prayed!"

Me: "That's great, honey!"

Leah: "What's Jesus going to do now?"

Me: "Well, He's going to help you on your inside...help you feel better about being outside."

Leah: "Like, move our hearts around?"

Me: "Um, no, not exactly. Like, help you feel brave about dogs and get your work done without being scared."

Leah: "Oh, so we'll be like Levi?"

(And yes, they did a great job sweeping.)

Growing independence

2009-06-03T23:16:00.003-04:00

When our summer break hits, my mind always turns to "big" ideas that have been waiting (im)patiently in the back of my brain. These are often things I notice about our children that need some, shall we say, course correction. I like to use our extra free time to gain some ground in an area in which they are lacking, or let us all explore something new, or a new way of doing something routine.

Anyway, a recurring "idea" that keeps bugging me is what I see as the kids' lack of independence. I was driving back home from a trip to the post office in our nearby small town right about the time the school buses were making their rounds. I noticed a small girl with a big backpack making her way to somewhere...it didn't look like she was headed home. The thought hit me hard again: when do my kids ever walk alone in town? Oh, yes, NEVER. You put five kids born close together + homeschooling + living on a seriously-busy road + the potential-child-harm-gestapo-government, you get...well, my children. : )

Of course I'm not saying they never do things on their own. They do plenty of activities around here that require responsibility and have consequences. It's the little things that you would never think of: how do you replicate choosing and paying for your own food in a lunch line? Send them alone into McDonald's? Someone would call the police on you. How do you replicate walking to a friend's house to ask if they could play? Adopt-a-neighborhood? Kind of freaky. And how about those hours I would spend biking around the country roads by myself trying to get lost? Do that now on this road, and you might as well start making up missing-child posters.

It's very hard to discern what part of me is just over-protecting and what part is not. I see a real need to get them used to making bigger decisions without us around, but I don't want to be irresponsible about it. Ideas, please?!